This past weekend I played Dance Central 3 with my husband. The sad thing is I only did one song, Boom Boom Pow and well that was the end of me. It was a ton of fun and I totally out danced my husband who thinks he is amazing. But of course I pretty much died, I couldn't breathe and seconds later I was hunched over on the floor in pain. At the time I didn't think it was too bad actually, I just took some pain medication and went to bed. I guess I can not be a dance star after all :). Well the following days were horrible. I had terrible chest pain and was taking pain medication every four hours just to try and keep the pain under control. I held strong for as long as I could but finally Wednesday I had a friend take me to the ER by my house. After labs, chest x-ray and an abnormal ekg they called Cleveland to ask what to do. I could tell the doctor was a little nervous, she hugged me and said she would make sure to ease the pain. I at this point was in tears. After holding it all in and trying to be strong the flood gates opened and out came the tears. They gave me 4mg of morphine and zofran to help with the pain and nausea. after thirty minutes the pain was still present so they gave me another 4mg of morphine. If you know me you know I get a little loopy and drowsy with pain medication. After all they had given me I was a complete mess and soon was sound asleep. They came back in and gave me some iv lasix per Cleveland's request, some food and told me they would be sending me home within the hour.
The one thing about having heart failure and this whole transplant thing is the pain is excruciating. Not to mention when you try to explain what it feels like you can never find the right words to explain how it really feels. It's just hard to explain. On top of all the pain I am always retaining fluid so I can't breathe either. Just a vicious cycle that never seems to end. The topping on the cake is this phrase "I'm sorry but this is what you will have to deal with until you are transplanted.", "It only gets worse before it gets better." REALLY?!? Well that sucks!
everyone waits for a miracle to happen in their life but I choose to make my own miracles with my health, family and life
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Thursday, March 7, 2013
post transplant bucket list
Many of you know that I have been limited to what I can do because of my heart condition so lately I have been thinking of a ll the things I will be able to do post transplant and well my mind has been wondering but here is what I have come up with not really a bucket list but things I look forward to....
Bucket List of Sorts:
1. Be independent again!!!
2.Run in a marathon for a good cause
3. Get drunk one time and make some questionable decisions...lol
4. Be able to wrestle with Dewon and take him down without getting chest pain
5. Participate in the transplant Olympics
6. Dance until my legs give out
7. Exercise
8. Travel out of country
9. Have kids and be able to keep up with them
10. Walk and shop through an entire mall without being tired
11. Eat the sloppiest, greasiest food and not have to worry about the sodium content.
12. Work at AHA and make a difference
I am sure I will add more as I think of other exciting things I want to do and accomplish
In life we take the little things for granted and I am way too excited to make new memories and enjoy my life with my husband and family. I thank God for each day that I have and cherish everything he has given me but there is nothing wrong with wishing for a little more ;)
Bucket List of Sorts:
1. Be independent again!!!
2.Run in a marathon for a good cause
3. Get drunk one time and make some questionable decisions...lol
4. Be able to wrestle with Dewon and take him down without getting chest pain
5. Participate in the transplant Olympics
6. Dance until my legs give out
7. Exercise
8. Travel out of country
9. Have kids and be able to keep up with them
10. Walk and shop through an entire mall without being tired
11. Eat the sloppiest, greasiest food and not have to worry about the sodium content.
12. Work at AHA and make a difference
I am sure I will add more as I think of other exciting things I want to do and accomplish
In life we take the little things for granted and I am way too excited to make new memories and enjoy my life with my husband and family. I thank God for each day that I have and cherish everything he has given me but there is nothing wrong with wishing for a little more ;)
Monday, March 4, 2013
march appointment 2013
Sunday March 3rd
It was really hard to get out of bed. I probably hit the snooze three times but finally got up and moving. After getting dressed I let the dogs out and fed them. By that time Dewon was up and ready so I grabbed the few last minute things I needed and we were quickly out the door and headed for the airport. The flight was smooth, no turbulence this time, and it seemed like we got to Cleveland faster than normal. The down fall though was we had to get food before we went to claim our bags. I waited to eat and was starting to have vision problems so we decided it would be best to get something in me before I passed out. So after finding some chicken fingers we were on our way to the hotel. Same routine after that eat and nap. At six we went over to the guest house, a lot of patients stay there after they get discharged from the hospital until they are cleared to go home. We had dinner at this little Deli there with the girl who I had met the last time I was admitted, the one who had a heart transplant. I felt kind of bad because as soon as she came in I started asking her questions. She said she was doing great and was able to ride a bike in physical therapy for a few miles. That she felt amazing working out and was hopeful to go home the coming Wednesday. I asked her about her water retention and she too retained in her abdomen area. She said after the transplant it basically just melted away and she noticed a huge change. This I am really looking forward to. I am ready to be small again and not look preggo. Every time I talk to her I just get this overwhelming feeling of joy and hope. Not only is she an awesome person but she also makes me less scared and anxious about what I am about to endure. I just think if she can do it so can I. To see her smile and tell me about the things she is now able to do makes me want to do the transplant today...
Monday March 4th
Today felt like it dragged on and on. I waited an hour in the lab department for blood work after my EKG. After missing one appointment waiting they finally told me to go ahead to my next appointment and come back later, they were slammed packed. I did however meet the cutest old man while waiting and a couple who was there to find out if her husband had cancer after he had a piece of his bladder removed. I guess they found a spot on his kidney after the surgery and was worried. They were the nicest people and after sharing our stories I said a little prayer and went on about my day. My appointment with Doctor Mountis was pretty quick. She instructed me to keep up with all my same medications and to take metolizone (a booster pill to help the torsemide) when I get home. She also said I might have to take the metolizone once a week just to help me keep my weight down and keep the fluid off. We also discussed it and because I have had so much anxiety lately we felt it would be best for me to start on a low dose of prozac to help me from having panic attacks and therefore having heart issues. I have had so much stress the last few weeks with the whole transplant "upgrade", finding out who my true friends are the hard way, and of course Dewon being a pain in my rear. So hopefully this medication will keep me from having a freaking heart attack because I can't handle anything else on plate right now. I also had a visit with Doctor Varma who is my doctor for my AICD ( the device that keeps my heart beating and shocks me if it goes too fast). He said everything looked good with my device. The only thing he had a concern about was that I was having some atrial tachycardia ( fast heart rate in the top chamber of my heart). So he would discuss with Dr. Mountis about starting me on cumadin to replace the aspirin I take. I will find out what they decide when I come back in a month. After that we went back down to get my blood work finally. Then we headed on back to the hotel where I fell asleep. After waiting hours for each appointment and the day slowly dragging I couldn't take it anymore, my poor body was hurting. So now we lay here and watch T.V. back to Ft. Belvoir tomorrow and to our regularly scheduled lives.
On a side note I plan to do a bucket list for when I get a heart. I know its a little backwards but I have so much I want to do when I get to feeling better I want to put it on paper. So look forward to seeing that soon. I have probably not made any sense in this last update but I am tired and hungry again so I am off to get some food so I can hit the sack. Thank you as always for your support and prayers! <3
By the way I seen the couple on the way out of the hospital and the guys tests came back that he had no cancer. Praise the Lord! A wonderful end to my hectic day.
It was really hard to get out of bed. I probably hit the snooze three times but finally got up and moving. After getting dressed I let the dogs out and fed them. By that time Dewon was up and ready so I grabbed the few last minute things I needed and we were quickly out the door and headed for the airport. The flight was smooth, no turbulence this time, and it seemed like we got to Cleveland faster than normal. The down fall though was we had to get food before we went to claim our bags. I waited to eat and was starting to have vision problems so we decided it would be best to get something in me before I passed out. So after finding some chicken fingers we were on our way to the hotel. Same routine after that eat and nap. At six we went over to the guest house, a lot of patients stay there after they get discharged from the hospital until they are cleared to go home. We had dinner at this little Deli there with the girl who I had met the last time I was admitted, the one who had a heart transplant. I felt kind of bad because as soon as she came in I started asking her questions. She said she was doing great and was able to ride a bike in physical therapy for a few miles. That she felt amazing working out and was hopeful to go home the coming Wednesday. I asked her about her water retention and she too retained in her abdomen area. She said after the transplant it basically just melted away and she noticed a huge change. This I am really looking forward to. I am ready to be small again and not look preggo. Every time I talk to her I just get this overwhelming feeling of joy and hope. Not only is she an awesome person but she also makes me less scared and anxious about what I am about to endure. I just think if she can do it so can I. To see her smile and tell me about the things she is now able to do makes me want to do the transplant today...
Monday March 4th
Today felt like it dragged on and on. I waited an hour in the lab department for blood work after my EKG. After missing one appointment waiting they finally told me to go ahead to my next appointment and come back later, they were slammed packed. I did however meet the cutest old man while waiting and a couple who was there to find out if her husband had cancer after he had a piece of his bladder removed. I guess they found a spot on his kidney after the surgery and was worried. They were the nicest people and after sharing our stories I said a little prayer and went on about my day. My appointment with Doctor Mountis was pretty quick. She instructed me to keep up with all my same medications and to take metolizone (a booster pill to help the torsemide) when I get home. She also said I might have to take the metolizone once a week just to help me keep my weight down and keep the fluid off. We also discussed it and because I have had so much anxiety lately we felt it would be best for me to start on a low dose of prozac to help me from having panic attacks and therefore having heart issues. I have had so much stress the last few weeks with the whole transplant "upgrade", finding out who my true friends are the hard way, and of course Dewon being a pain in my rear. So hopefully this medication will keep me from having a freaking heart attack because I can't handle anything else on plate right now. I also had a visit with Doctor Varma who is my doctor for my AICD ( the device that keeps my heart beating and shocks me if it goes too fast). He said everything looked good with my device. The only thing he had a concern about was that I was having some atrial tachycardia ( fast heart rate in the top chamber of my heart). So he would discuss with Dr. Mountis about starting me on cumadin to replace the aspirin I take. I will find out what they decide when I come back in a month. After that we went back down to get my blood work finally. Then we headed on back to the hotel where I fell asleep. After waiting hours for each appointment and the day slowly dragging I couldn't take it anymore, my poor body was hurting. So now we lay here and watch T.V. back to Ft. Belvoir tomorrow and to our regularly scheduled lives.
On a side note I plan to do a bucket list for when I get a heart. I know its a little backwards but I have so much I want to do when I get to feeling better I want to put it on paper. So look forward to seeing that soon. I have probably not made any sense in this last update but I am tired and hungry again so I am off to get some food so I can hit the sack. Thank you as always for your support and prayers! <3
By the way I seen the couple on the way out of the hospital and the guys tests came back that he had no cancer. Praise the Lord! A wonderful end to my hectic day.
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